Mourning and stuff...

I know, we all mourn differently. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that or some variation of the phrase. "Everyone mourns differently." "We all handle it in our own way" I've noticed something about me. I don't know if I'm just weird or everyone has experienced this so please feel free to leave lots of comments.
I mourn differently EVERY TIME! As though the loss of each person has it's own personality. Possibly the amount of, or lack there of, maturity has something to do with it. The closeness of the person lost also. Every experience has brought it's own demons to the table. My most recent experience has brought me the most complex puzzle of them all.
The loss of my grandmother.
It's a long story that I'm sure this blog does not hold enough space for, so we'll stay to puzzle at hand. I cried the day I lost her. I did not cry at the visitation. I did not cry at the funeral really either. I clouded myself up with the fact that I KNOW she was the most ready person I've ever know in my life.  DAYS later, I lost it. And I've not fully recovered since. Her birthday was hard. Then I've had the most exhausting dream more than once that she is in my bedroom and we have an all night conversation. I always feel as though I really have been up all night when I wake. And then Halloween. I know it sounds like some what of an insignificant holiday. Most people get depressed about something like Christmas. Not taking my kids to see her, well broke my heart. Also, there was a loss in our family at that time many years ago that still effects my mother and her siblings.
Now lets talk guilt. My wedding.
My cousin is getting married Thanksgiving weekend. I feel guilty that my wedding was the last one Granny was able to attend. My daughter and I are to be in the wedding. Lorie was in my wedding. And I can't help but feel guilty that Granny won't physically be there for Lorie. Even though I know she'll be looking down to her on her day. Her love for Lorie will be there, because she really did love her. But some how, still feeling the guilt.
Well that's about all of that I can handle today. Sorry for the downer. I'll perk things up with some stuff from the kids.

The Princess:
While sitting on the couch yesterday. "Mommy, do that thing where you shake your ALL (*insert bug eyed look here*)  your hair and tickle me" Guess it's time for mommy to get a trim...

E:
*He bends over to pick up a toy and the snap button on his pants pops undone.* "Uh Oh! My belly broked my pants!"

The Prince has been entertaining himself lately by running from one of the hallway to the next with his head stretched out forward and his hands flung behind him as though he is going to take flight any moment. Exclaiming "WEEEEEEEEEEEE!" the whole time.... I hope it's a phase, his prom date will most likely not be impressed if it is not.

A preschool perspective on sick:
I've had the lovely stomach bug that is going around our area lately. The Princess does not understand it. She asks me on my way out of the bathroom, " Mommy why did you do that? You're food is suppose to STAY in your tummy! Yo Gabba says it's a party in your TUMMY not in the POTTY! " Oh the overwhelming compassion...