InTrUdEr!!!

Picture this. It's around eleven o'clock. We are finally in bed. Big Daddy gets up, I think to turn on the fan. Then there in the dark, the intruder. Grayish in color, about and inch and a half long, big dark eyes, weighing in at a few ounces... a mouse!! I hear, "Baby, don't scream or get upset when I tell you this. I just saw a mouse run under the dresser." Mentally I am saying " AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"!!!! But vocally nothing. Why wake the kids too and then have a total house hold meltdown? So I'm covering my mouth and squirming a lil at the thought of this critter in our home.
So, Big Daddy gets the flashlight to investigate and sure enough a little head is seen poking out under the back side of our dresser. Ok, now what?!? It's in our bedroom which means I am not sleeping in here and will not sleep knowing that thing is in my house.
Well, when we moved in the house had not been lived in for about a year. So there was a mouse. We bought traps, had the house sprayed for all sorts of pests and we'll just say it worked good. So I was sent to the laundry/storage room to see if we still had traps. No traps... now what. Get innovative. We are from Arkansas so this involved duct tape, lots of duct tape.
We decide that glue traps are just sticky stuff right. So several strips of duct tape were laid together around the edges of the dresser and in-front of the master bathroom door, which is located about 6 to 8 inches away from the end of the dresser and we were not certain it didn't make a break for that door, so duct tape there too. We also decide to arm ourselves with a lovely little device we received as a gift. It's a bug zapper, only to make this even more redneck it's a racket like bug zapper. That's right portable entertainment, as seen on TV. Link below... this does exists people.
http://www.asseenontv.com/prod-pages/bug_zapper.html
So duct tape - check. The amazing hand held bug zapper - check. All we needed were cut off t shirts, beer, and missing teeth. Oh, and I forgot to mention... um... Big Daddy likes to sleep in his birthday suit and nothing more so all this is occurring au naturel for him and me in my nightgown. Yep that mental picture just got a lil more creepy huh?
So back to it. Here we are duct tape down, critter taser in hand, both on the bed waiting for this mouse to appear get stuck to the tape and then a ride on the hand held lighting. One problem. Mouse pokes out from bathroom, okay plan is in motion... and so is the mouse. This mouse tip toes, and I swear it was tap dancing, across the duct tape like it's nothing. This tiny little mouse doesn't weigh enough to stick, even though when Big Daddy was cutting strips of it he got stuck a time or two. So now we are wide awake, I'm creeped out this thing is under the dresser again and Big Daddy is not about to be out smarted... again... by a little mouse. So in the middle of the night he is getting dressed and off to Wal Mart. What a great hubby huh? We all know how safe and uninteresting Wal Mart is after midnight right? That's a whole other blog sometime.
Now please consider this leaves me, duct tape, and the critter taser to handle things until Big Daddy gets back. My instructions are to wait til it gets on the tape and then whack it to make it stick to the tape and then "light him up", call Big Daddy if I take care of this before he gets to Wal Mart so he can come back home. *Deep Sigh* yeah...
So this thing gets back under the dresser some how escaping my not so cat like reflexes. I unstuck the critter taser from the tape from my failed attempt, and I wait. I place a Charming Charlie's bag at the end of the tape on the other side of the dresser so that in theory if this thing gets to the other side of the dresser before me I at least have a few seconds of it being in the bag so I can trap it and smush it. Yes, I would smush it. My house not the mouse's, and now this thing has me up past midnight. Momma gets mean after 11:30. So while trying to scare the mouse out from under the dresser it makes it BACK into the bathroom again. Big Daddy gets home.
He has purchased enough glue traps to trap a horse. He proceeds to place traps around the dresser and in-front of the bathroom door, ya know on the duct tape. A total of eight glue traps are waiting on this mouse. We wait. I feel better knowing this thing ain't go'n anywhere without getting on a trap. Big Daddy wants to wait and make sure it works because he is now wide awake. I am loosing beauty sleep and that's not something I can afford to loose much of. So I suggest, "Nic, Can we turn off the big light?"
-Side note: Yes Nic I actually said that. Sorry girl it's was one a.m. by then and it sounded funny at the time. -
He turns off the light, leaving on the lamp and TV. My next suggestion a few moments later; "Hey, if we act like we're sleeping I bet it will come out. Come on, try it!" So Big Daddy chuckles at me a little and turns off the lamp, turns the sound to the TV that was barely up to begin with all the way down, and I play the part of the almost sleeping person. Guess what! If you are ever in this situation, mice are fooled by this. In a minute tops, I hear the shuffling of the glue trap and and whispered exclamation "He's on the trap! We got him!"
So Big Daddy proud of his hunters catch gets up and turns on the bathroom light. There it is, about the size of teaspoon and stuck. Yes I said "Awww" about this time because it looks pathetic, but in my twisted mind this "sympathy" was very very fleeting. This thing is not to live. It has received the death sentence for violating my peaceful clean bedroom, loss of beauty sleep and my mild obsession with cleaning that I've mentioned before has been set off with thinking I have to now scrub and sanitize my home, go through all the cabinets, check all the food... yep this mouse must die. Of course I am not doing the deed! Big Daddy takes it outside in the Charming Charlie's bag that was in handy reach and "takes care" of the pest.
So now, at one thirty in the morning, the mouse is gone. I have puffy eyes and lack of sleep, there was a time in my life this would have meant that last night rocked. Now it only means last night was a mouse debacle. I have a day of spic and span, checking cabinets and containers, and coffee in an IV drip ahead of me. I turned on some cartoons for the kids this morning and was actually relieved to see Mickey and Minnie because they are the only kind of mouse allowed in this house.